Airhead Morgana

Wulfstan always knew that Sorceresses were selfish airheads, but he didn’t expect Morgana to stroll off and get distracted by little oddities simply because she’d just levelled up.

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“Hey, Wulfstan, check out that lot squatting on the lava. How can they do that?”
— “A bit [grunt] busy [bash] right now, Morgana.”
“Hmm, they’ve been there the whole time. I wonder if I can firewall them.”
— “Ah, a little help please?” [clang]
“You’re doing fine. Just kill it and level up already, can’t you? Say, my thunderstorm doesn’t seem to be reaching them. But one of them seems to have got a shard from my Frozen Orb. Why would that be?”
— “You do realise [bash] that we mercs are unionizing?”

Morgana writes:
Oh, really. And I made him a King’s Grace sword especially. Some people are so ungrateful.

I mean, sheesh, before I rescued Wulfstan from his corral in the Frigid Highlands, the imps were making him sing the counter-tenor part of “I’m a Barbie boy and I’m all right.” With heel-tapping. Transposed into A major. Look, I felt sorry for him, all right?

Anyhow, once Qual-Kekh had given me all their résumés, it boiled down to a choice between him and some baritone with slightly higher grades called Unferth, about whom I vaguely remembered reading something very unsavoury in my Early Barbarian Lit class at school.

Editor’s note:
The blood-curdling Barbarian war-song “I’m a Barbie boy and I’m all right” and its associated triumphal dance are secrets guarded almost as jealously as Mount Arreat itself. While the dance ritual is known to involve the expenditure of vast amounts of mana on taunting dead enemies and leaping over them, outsiders have never escaped alive with knowledge of more than the terrifying first two lines of the war-song: